I am addicted to Amazon, I admit it. I'm not sure how I ever lived my life without it....y'know, the days when I had to actually get in the car and GO to the store if I wanted to buy something?
|la la la...|
- I never knew existed
- I didn't want to know existed
- make me wonder how exactly they made the cut for my potato peeler search results
So I decided to share five of those gems here, just in case any of you out there are unfortunate enough to have never been similarly entertained on your own adventures exploring the depths of the mysterious Amazon algorithms.
Please to enjoy:
1) The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book
This looks like loads of fun for the whole gang...just be careful which colors you use. Brought to you by the author of "Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book".
"The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book is just as it sounds: a series of images in thick black lines of the most popular gangsta rappers from hip-hop. The juxtaposition of hard-core thugs portrayed through a children's medium made this book an underground hit in Aye Jay Moreno's first, self-published edition. Now expanded from 20 to 48 pages to include even more of the music's superstars, this collection is a witty hall of fame of gangsta rap."
2) Fat Old Fred
Fred is not looking good. I'm just glad this "life form" comes with a convenient carrying bag. Imagine the looks you'd get carrying Fred around town...or if you had to roll him up in a rug.
And in Fred's previous life...he was apparently a balloonist.
"Students always wonder how CPR manikins [sic] will compare with real victims, especially those who are older or obese. This unique manikin [sic] helps to prepare students to respond to a more typical cardiac arrest event with a victim who is elderly and overweight. Features: elderly physical appearance, large body type with extra 'fat' layer, realistic head tilt and chin lift for opening the airway, and palpable and visual anatomical landmarks, including the sternum, rib cage, and substernal notch. The airway can be manipulated to simulate airway obstruction or choking situations. Also includes three mouth/nose pieces, three disposable lung/airway systems, and a convenient carrying bag."
Dancing With Jesus
Cover Jesus shows us his best Carleton...after all, he is the Fresh Prince of Peace. ☮ And the fact that the cover is lenticular ROCKS!
"Singing hymns of praise is standard practice—now it’s time to set your feet a-tapping with a collection of original dance moves inspired by Jesus and the likes of Moses and John the Baptist. Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga. Each dance move is outlined with: how to, inspiration, and an illustration. Slyly irreverent but ultimately festive, Dancing with Jesus is illustrated in full color. Best of all, two of the dances are animated for full effect by a lenticular cover and last-spread finale, making this a truly one-of-a-kind novelty item!"
Two words that should NEVER be put together.
These make my teeth hurt...but they would be a perfect present for Jeffery Dahmer, maybe...or Ed Gein.
Why does one look like corn?
"Ideal for posting notes and photos on your fridge or other magnetic surface, these fun teeth magnets feature five white teeth and one gold tooth. Made of plastic."
I really don't have much to say about these...except I bet they're really prickly.
"Trichocereus Bridgessi Mostruosa "Penis Cactus" Cuttings. Each cactus is approx. 3", the powder on the cut end is sulfur which is an anti -fungal. This is for 1 cactus. These plants root very easily and are shipped individully [sic] wrapped and packed in a sturdy box. Complete with instructions on rooting, soil mixture and watering requirements. These cacti are hardy to 20 degrees. Or, they may be brought indoors in the winter and require minimal care. All cacti come with 7 day money back guarentee. [sic] Wholesale inquiries welcome."
I hope you had fun on our little foray into Amazon weirdness...if you find any good stuff on your own search of "the 'Zon", come back and leave a link here in the comments. ♥